Fun with Scientology

Posted: December 26, 2013 in Cults, Livin' in the USA, Religion
Tags: , , ,

Here’s  a testimonial (courtesy of Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker) from a Scientologist who participated in  the Church of Scientology’s $2500  Running Program, which is exactly what the name implies: running, in this case running around a pole in a windowless room in Scientology’s Super Power Building in Clearwater, Florida:

This rundown was the bomb! My life has changed to a very large degree. I have a clean slate. I gained abilities. I had a lot of intention to complete this rundown. My flows are now straight, and I can now control them. I lost a lot of ridges and engrams. I became a powerful thetan. I began to be cause over my life. I can control my life. I can control all my dynamics. Right now, I can speak with people and I can SEE their tone level.

A friend who’s a former high-level Scientology executive, a dianetically clear squirrel, translates the above Scientologese into plain English:

  • “clean slate” — having no engrams
  • “intention” — (“command intent”) you think it, it happens
  • “rundown” — a process
  • “flows are now straight” — I’m not confused, or my e-meter readings don’t vary
  • “ridges” — obstacles, hindrances
  • “engrams” — something from the past that continues to cause physical and mental problems (“manifestations”)
  • “thetan” — spirit
  • “be cause” — be in control
  • “dynamics” — self; family; close associates; more distant associates; all humanity; the animal kingdom; the plant kingdom; spirituality
  • “tone level” — a state of existence measured numerically, where you are within your dynamics

Merry Xmas (i.e., Merry Xenumas) to one and all.

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