International Proletarian Hammer Throwing and Rhetoric Flinging Competition

Posted: January 9, 2016 in Humor, Language Use, Politics
Tags: ,

Graphic from The Anarchist Cookbook

On: MAY 1, 1984. At: (where else?)

MARX MEADOW in GOLDEN GATE PARK

CONTEST RULES

 

You will have two hours to compose a manifesto using the terms struggle, heroic, vanguard, revolution, revolutionary, reified, liberated zone, workers party (penalty for use of apostrophe), people’s army, revolutionary government, youth (as a plural), people of color (not colored people), differently (insert preferred adjective–abled is acceptable though pedestrian), phallocracy, womyn, wimmin, wimin, wimmen, wymyn, white skin privilege, petit bourgeois, trade union consciousness, moral imperative, revolutionary duty, infantile, objectively reactionary, objectively counterrevolutionary, islamophobic, bosses, stooge, puppet, decadent, exploitation, fight, smash, hands off, build, stop, unleash, free (fill in the blank—Bob Avakian is a good choice), revisionist, fascist, opportunist, deviationist, and running dog. You must use all terms!! (Special prize for the most inventive neologism. Last year’s winner: cisgender.)

You will then have two hours to put your manifesto into publishable form. Supply your own tools. Preferred typesetting equipment: old manual typewriter (extra points for worn ribbons, broken or filled-in characters, handwritten corrections). The longest, most unreadable entry wins. The triumphant manifesto will then be copied on a 25-year-old xerox machine which hasn’t been cleaned since 1997, bound with a staple in one corner, and distributed to contest participants. Losers will be compelled to read it. Those who refuse will be unmasked as objectively counterrevolutionary petit bourgeois anarchists and will face the revolutionary justice of the people’s democratic dictatorship.

* * *

–from The Anarchist Cookbook

Anarchist Cookbook front cover

(And, yes folks, in case you’re wondering, “The People’s Democratic Dictatorship”

is the actual title of one of Mao’s essays.)

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