Definition of the Day 3-16-16 — Attractive

Posted: March 14, 2016 in Humor, Sex
Tags: , , , , ,

ATTRACTIVE, adj. 1) Old, fat, bald, impotent—and incredibly wealthy. This, of course, refers only to those qualities most women find attractive. For most men, the attractive qualities run as follows: vain, frivolous, selfish, shrewish—and having a great rack. (Our apologies for the gratuitous crudity; we meant “having a great personality.”); 2) As used in personals ads by both men and women, “not hideous.”

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–from the revised and expanded edition of The American Heretic’s Dictionary, the best modern successor to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary

American Heretic's Dictionary revised and expanded by Chaz Bufe, front cover

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