Four Horrible Musical Genres — and Why You Should Hate Them

Posted: October 17, 2016 in Uncategorized

There are maybe 35 pop musical genres. Considering the sub-genres (Norteños, rancheras, banda, mariachi in “Mexican,” for example) that expands; take the sub-genres as separate species, and there are well over 100.

Here are the ones that are truly despicable:

  • Techno/electronica. Totally mindless. Totally suited for lobotomized robots to jerk themselves around to.  The incessant, repetitive four-on-the-floor beat is all that you need to  realize that no one you’d ever want to know would listen (rather jerk around to)  to this shit. “Moronic” would be high praise. “Music” totally devoid of higher brain functions.
  • Modern-day country. Take country music, put it through a blender, filter out everything that doesn’t lull you to sleep, and then start chanting “We’re number one!” and start goose stepping. A good antidote, an emetic, is real country music: Merle Haggard, George Jones, Junior Brown, Jerry Reed, Hank Williams, The Mavericks, Al Perry, Hank Topless, and Willie Nelson.
  • Rap/Hip Hop. As nine-time Grammy winner Wynston Mardsalis says, “Old school minstrels used to say they were ‘real darkies from the real plantation’. Hip-hop substitutes the plantation for the streets. Now you have to say that you’re from the streets, you shot some brothers, you went to jail. Rappers have to display the correct pathology. Rap has become a safari for people who get their thrills from watching African-American people debase themselves, men dressing in gold, calling themselves stupid names like Ludacris or 50 Cent, spending money on expensive fluff, using language like ‘bitch’ and ‘ho’ and ‘nigger’…. I don’t have to attack hip-hop. Hip-hop attacks itself. It has no merit, rhythmically, musically, lyrically. What is there to discuss? … Is it okay to call me a nigger and your wife a bitch?”
  • Present-day rock/pop. Music has gotten progressively dumbed down for the last 40 or so years: fewer chord changes, more restricted vocal range, a more restricted dynamic range (for you cognoscenti who know what “dynamic range” means), and all too often not even a fucking bridge. Pop really is worse than it was in the ’60s. Don’t even try to defend it. And stop listening to it.

 

 

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Comments
  1. mikal says:

    Hey, love your blog! This post is characterized by somewhat sweeping statements though.

    I recognize many of the symptoms you describe in these genres. However, keep in mind that there are exceptions. While for example hip hop has a lot of repetitive melodies with no progression and uncreative lyrics, there are still some beacons of light in this genre I used to think of as a desert lacking of all artistic sense. Keep an open mind and you’ll find music you like even in genres you dislike. As someone who claims to enjoy all genres, I still generally dislike a few genres. However, these genres have some really good stuff hidden in a sea of music I don’t enjoy.

    I completely agree with your sentiment on the shitty values often displayed in hip hop. Criminal wannabe, misogynistic scumbags aren’t original or interesting in any way.

    Keep on writing!

    Like

    • Sweeping statements, me? Thanks!

      I can’t sleep and have been pulling CDs at random from the shelves. Just pulled a Wes Montgomery CD with the first cut Sonny Rollins’ “Airegin” at about 200 bpm. Jesus F. Christ!

      Why do I even bother? Because it’s fun.

      So there ya go.

      Just pulled “Dred Zeppelin” (reggae versions of Led Zep with a 300-lb Elvis impersonator fronting the band). All of a sudden I feel a whole lot better about my guitar playing. 😉

      Cheers

      Liked by 1 person

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