Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category


Of late, every vocabulary-deficient knuckle dragger on Craigslist seems to use the word “vintage” — often several times — when posting an ad for music gear. (I’m waiting with bated breath for them to start using the term “artisanal.”)

So, it seems like an appropriate time to remind readers of what the term actually means.

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VINTAGE, adj. As used on Craigslist, old, overpriced, beat to hell. More simply, “shit,” as in “vintage guitar amp.”

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–from The American Heretic’s Dictionary (revised & expanded)

American Heretic's Dictionary revised and expanded by Chaz Bufe, front cover


INCOME TAX, n. A particularly painful form of economic sodomy inflicted upon the public during the IRS’s annual rutting season in mid-April.

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–from the revised and expanded edition of The American Heretic’s Dictionary

American Heretic's Dictionary revised and expanded by Chaz Bufe, front cover


“You hammer homers. We hammer beers.”

–anonymous SF Giants fans at the game tonight

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(This is on what would have been my dad’s 104th birthday. He would have approved.)


DEMOCRATIC PARTY UNITY, phr. Allowing the architects of the current electoral disaster to engineer, unchallenged, further disasters. Some low minded skeptics have suggested that the desire of the masters of disaster to maintain control is due to their wallowing in rivers of corporate cash, but this is obviously not so. They advance corporate interests not out of petty, personal venality, but out of the purest altruistic motives.

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(This one isn’t in The American Heretic’s Dictionary, but it will be should we ever getting around to publishing a further updated edition.)


WRITER, n. A drinker who occasionally writes — normally when the drink overcomes his (usually correct) conviction that he can’t write.

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–from The American Heretic’s Dictionary (revised & expanded)

American Heretic's Dictionary revised and expanded by Chaz Bufe, front cover

Joke of the Day 3-29-17

Posted: March 29, 2017 in Humor, Jokes, Music
Tags:

Calavera by Miguel Posada

“If we could play a tune on a skeleton as on a marimba, we would be tapping a spinal chord.”

–Stuart Faxon

(The above image is Miguel Posada’s most famous calavera.)


“Trump’s ego is so fragile that it’s like a house made of tissue-paper cards. He wants you to know that he is a genius: ‘I’m a very instinctual person, but my instinct turns out to be right. When everyone said I wasn’t going to win the election, I said well I think I would.’ Motherfucker, that’s not instinct. That’s being a candidate for office. Of course, you think you’re gonna win. Why brag about that? It’s like saying, ‘Man, no one thought I was going to take a shit today, but, I took a shit. I showed them.'”

–The Rude Pundit on Donald Trump

(Note: The above photo of little Donnie playing truck driver is genuine, not Photoshopped.)