Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Joke of the Day 1-27-17

Posted: January 26, 2017 in Humor, Jokes, Language Use

“Don’t you just hate rhetorical questions?”

–no idea where this came from, so let’s credit it to Anonymous

Crude Joke of the Day 12-9-16

Posted: December 9, 2016 in Humor, Jokes, Language Use

capital

(Sorry, but I do not know where this came from. Thanks to my pal Leo for passing this one along.)


“When I was younger, I dreamed of groupies. Now, I dream of roadies.”

–yours truly, the last time I loaded all the gear heading to a bar gig

Joke of the Day 11-10-16

Posted: November 10, 2016 in Humor, Jokes, Language Use

At this point, I think we can all use this. Enjoy.

grammar-joke

–from Seattle Propane’s Wallingfordsign


What did Jeffrey Dahmer

Jeffrey Dahmer

say to Lorena Bobbitt?

Lorena Bobbitt

“Excuse me. Are you gonna eat that?”

* * *

(For once we know the source of a joke:  Ellen Barkin told this one on the David Letterman Show in 1994.)


Rodney Dangerfield on stage

(Looks out at audience, sweat on forehead, eyes bulging out)

“I don’t get no respect.”

“I called a suicide hotline in Pakistan.”

(wipes forehead, straightens tie, jerks head)

“And they asked me if I could drive a truck.”

 * * *

(I have no idea who came up with this great joke. It might have been Dangerfield, but I doubt it.)

A Musical Joke

Posted: August 30, 2016 in Humor, Jokes, Music
Tags:

(Here’s one that musicians, especially guitar players and those who have to put up with them, will enjoy. I have no idea who came up with this joke.

If you’re not a musician, just be aware that a Marshall stack consists of two 4X12 speaker cabinets stacked on top of each other with the amplifier head set on top of the speaker cabs; such a “stack” is about three feet wide and six feet high.

Amp heads with vacuum tubes are more prone to breaking down, but are very much preferred to solid state heads.)

 * * *

Dear Abby,

I think my wife is having an affair. A friend of mine told me she’s been showing up at his gigs with another guy.

A few days ago my pal called and asked to borrow my Marshall stack, since his amp had just blown up and he had a gig that night.

I told him sure, as long as I could hide behind my amp to spy on the audience to see if my wife showed up.

Sure enough, while I was crouching behind my stack, my wife did walk in with another guy! I couldn’t stand looking at them, so I turned my head and noticed that the filament in one of the power tubes was only half as bright as the filaments in the other tubes.

Abby! What can I do? Is this a problem I can fix myself, or should I take the head in to an amp tech?