Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Joke of the Day 11-16-17

Posted: November 15, 2017 in Humor, Jokes
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“Take my advice. I’m not using it.”

–Anonymous

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After nearly nine relentless months of racism, narcissism, authoritarianism, idiocy, compulsive lying, vomit-inducing abuse, and world-threatening sociopathy, I think we can all use a good laugh. Enjoy.

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–from the anonymous genius who comes up with Seattle Propane’s Wallingfordsign

Three Jokes in Six Words

Posted: July 29, 2017 in Humor, Jokes

(Here you go — three jokes in six words, by an anonymous comic genius, straight from a wall in San Francisco, courtesy of Drummer’s Bible co-author Mick Berry):

THINGS I HATE

  • Graffiti
  • Irony
  • Lists

Joke of the Day 6-26-17

Posted: June 26, 2017 in Humor, Jokes, Philosophy
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Rodin's Thinker

“Is it getting solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”

* * *

(Kudos to whoever came up with this great one-liner. The bizarre thing about jokes is that if you ask a bunch of stand-up comics about the origin of any joke, almost invariably none of them will know where it came from.)

Joke of the Day 6-5-17

Posted: June 5, 2017 in Humor, Jokes

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought, What the hell good would that do?
–Anonymous (or at least I have no idea who came up with this); thanks to Leo Mellon for sending this my way

“I had a dream the other night. I was playing golf with Donald Trump. I was standing beside him with a club in my hand, and I was considering my options when I suddenly woke up. It was one of those dreams where you just want to get back to sleep so you can finish it, you know?”

–quoted by Jake Nevins in “Jim Carrey comes to Kathy Griffin’s Defense” in the June 1, 2017 edition of The Guardian

(If you’re wondering why we like this joke but have no use for Kathy Griffin’s photo of herself with the mock severed head of Trump, here you go: both the photo and the joke “cross the line,” but Carrey’s joke is both clever and funny; Griffin’s photo is neither — it’s just deliberately offensive.)

Joke of the Day 3-29-17

Posted: March 29, 2017 in Humor, Jokes, Music
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Calavera by Miguel Posada

“If we could play a tune on a skeleton as on a marimba, we would be tapping a spinal chord.”

–Stuart Faxon

(The above image is Miguel Posada’s most famous calavera.)