Archive for the ‘Quotations’ Category

Mark Twain

“The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean; I know this by my own experience, and to this day I cherish an unappeasable bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was 15 years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean sweet breath again this side of the grave.”

–Letter to Asa Don Dickson, November 21, 1905

J. Edgar Hoover

“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in case of oral-genital intimacy unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.”


Mr. Fish Donald Trump graphic

“Why the stupid so often become malignant – To those arguments of our adversary against which our head feels too weak, our heart replies by throwing suspicion on the motives of his argument.”

– Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human

(graphic by Mr. Fish)

Earlier today, the celebrated literary lion and noted performance artist Donald J. Trump pointed out the obvious on, of course, Twitter: “I’m a very stable genius.”

To find evidence of this prodigy’s remarkable IQ and unparalleled emotional stability, one need look no further than his own words in interviews and, of course, on Twitter. The following should put the matter to rest.

“It’s very possible that I could be the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it.” –quoted in Fortune, April 3, 2000

“40 Wall Street [owned by Trump] actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan… And now it’s the tallest.” –September 11, 2001 interview on WWOR

“They don’t write good. They have people over there, like Maggie Haberman and others, they don’t — they don’t write good. They don’t know how to write good.” — interview on The Sean Hannity Show, August 1, 2016

“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” –2005 Access Hollywood tape with Billy Bush

“If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” –interview on The View, March 6, 2006

“I will be phenomenal to the women.” –on Face The Nation, August 9, 2015

“China steals U.S. Navy research drone in international waters — rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented [sic] act.” –tweet on Decmber 17, 2016

“But you also had people that were very fine people, on both sides.” –news conference on August 15, 2017 commenting on neo-Nazis and anti-Nazi protesters in the aftermath of the Charlottesville neo-Nazis/white supremacist demonstration

“I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge.” –quoted in Time, April 14, 2011

“I think I am, actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.” — 60 Minutes interview, July 17, 2016

“I am honered [sic] to serve you, the great American People [sic], as your 45th President of the United States!” –tweet on January 21, 2017

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters, okay? It’s, like, incredible.” –at a campaign rally in Sioux City, Iowa, January 23, 2016

We could go on indefinitely, but why bother? The above quotations amply demonstrate how fortunate we all are to have this paragon of stability’s tiny hands on the “bigger and more powerful” “Nuclear Button.”

All hail the genius, glorious leader! (And, sadly, some will.)

Aphorism of the Day 12-11-17

Posted: December 11, 2017 in Humor, Quotations
Tags: ,

“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.”

— Anonymous

“History does note repeat itself, but it rhymes an awful lot.”

— often attributed to Mark Twain, mentioned (as a “timeworn truism”) by Norman Solomon in his well worth reading “The Ghost of Hubert Humphrey

“I don’t think we should be doing critical thinking. I think if you are conscious, if you’re present with God at all times, then all things will be made clear to you. . . . You won’t have to think it through or think about it, and then whatever you do, it always turn[s] out right. There’s no second thoughts about it at all. And critical thinking sound[s] like people who are not conscious of God, they’re not centered, and so they’re trying to figure out things in their head. . . . [E]very thought you get is a lie. . . . And so if nothing in your mind is the truth, how can you think through things with . . . those thoughts?

“That’s why God said, Bring every thought into captivity. Every thought. Because every thought is a lie. . . . Because every thought is from the Deceiver.”

—Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, sermon, YouTube, May 21, 2017, quoted by John Grant in the upcoming revised and expanded edition of Corrupted Science: Fraud, Ideology, and Politics in Science (scheduled for May 2018)