Posts Tagged ‘Baseball’


It’s time once again to speak four of the most beautiful words in the English language: “Pitchers and Catchers Report.” (The two most beautiful words, are of course, “Play ball!”)

In honor of the start of Spring Training, our pal Leo passed along a link to SimplyHaiku which features a number of baseball haikus, some of them quite funny. Our two favorites are both by Ed Markowski, of Auburn Hills, Michigan. (Surprisingly, there seem to be a number of Ed Markowskis out there.)

We hope that you enjoy these haikus as much as we did:

up from Pawtucket
his error in slow-mo
on the centerfield scoreboard

and

shaken off a second time
the catcher flashes his
middle finger

Strictly speaking, these aren’t haikus, which consist of three lines of, respectively, five, seven, and five syllables. But we like these anyway.

 


“[San Francisco Giants shortstop] Brandon Crawford seemed to be on his own personal ‘I Should Have Been An All-Star’  destruction tour all week. In the five games after the teams were announced (and he was snubbed) Crawford had eight hits and drove in eight runs. He entered the break with a team-high 61 RBI. . . .

“Crawford pointed out that he has driven in that many runs despite having only nine homers. Then he nodded toward [Giants catcher] Buster Posey’s locker.

“‘Speedy over there scores from first a lot,’ he said. ”

–Alex Pavlovic, “Giants Notes,” on CSN Bay Area


“The problem is the stuff they [the Pittsburgh Pirates] weren’t worried about. Andrew McCutchen, the best Pirate since Barry Bonds, isn’t hitting. Gerrit Cole is hurt, and the Pittsburgh tradition of “rub some Searage Dust on these guys and they’ll give you six innings” isn’t working for the rest of the rotation. Neil Walker is having a solid Neil Walker season in New York, while Jon Niese, well, you just saw what’s going on with Niese. Somewhere in Western Pennsylvania, a monkey’s paw is slowly dragging itself across the floor towards a can of Iron City.

“All of which is to say, it feels gauche to take too much joy in these three wins against a particularly snakebit iteration of a historically snakebit franchise. Especially when they have the Dodgers coming to town next. I believe in you, Pirates. You’re one of my odd-year teams of choice. So if you want to take these drubbings as motivation for the next four games, you know, I think that’s a fine idea.”

–Reuben Poling, McCovey Chronicles


A few days ago, after he blew a save, I wrote that Santiago Castilla should be coated with honey and staked out atop an anthill.

Today, he saved a game and struck out the side in the 9th.  No mean feat.

Overall, since the Giants acquired him, Castilla has been great –roughly an 85% save-conversion rate and an ERA around 2.00. How could anyone (except me) ask for more?

But what I want is a ‘roid-fueled monster throwing 103, who  converts 99% of save opportunities. Who doesn’t?

In the meantime, I’ll take Castilla. (and hold my breath every time he takes the mound)


“11. Tampa Bay Rays
Main Broadcasters: Andy Freed and Dave Wills
Ratings (Charisma/Analysis/Overall): 3.9, 4.0, 4.0

Representative Reader Comment
‘I would have given them a 4 but the audio always sounds like Freed is a DJ at a strip club with [the] combination of his voice cadence and the audio inside the Trop [Tropicana Field].’

Notes
For those of us who harbor suspicions about Florida and the tastes of those who willingly inhabit it, it’s not surprising to find that a reader is compelled to reference a strip club when attempting to characterize the audio quality of Tampa Bay’s radio broadcasts. Indeed, the strip club would appear to represent a particularly flexible and widely applicable metaphor wherein Florida and its residents are concerned.”

 

–Carson Castulli, “2016 Broadcaster Rankings (Radio) #20 -11

(for more on Florida, check out our favorite Twitter feed, Florida Man)


“[Texas Rangers broadcaster Steve] Busby’s main entertainment value comes from his apparent lack of awareness of obvious double entendre. He has provided many superb sound bites since taking over in the booth, such as the time he described David Murphy’s run of success in the second spot of the lineup as ‘eating that number two hole up.’ A favorite of his is the term ‘fisted;’ when L.J. Hoes fouled a ball off the handle of the bat one day, he said, incredibly, ‘And Hoes got fisted.’”

–Anonymous Texas Rangers fan quoted by Carson Cistulli in “2016 Broadcasters Rankings (TV): #20-11


“Right down the middle for ball one.”

–Atlanta Braves broadcaster Jim Powell on a blown balls-and-strikes call

(quoted by Carson Cistulli on Fangraphs)