Posts Tagged ‘Grant Brisbee’

Grant Brisbee

“It seems funny to you that [Giancarlo] Stanton might want to come to the Giants. This is because you actually spent time — time you will never, ever, ever get back — watching this horrible team as it spun around the toilet and mercifully went down, never to resurface.”


Grant Brisbee

“It’s not that life comes at you fast, it’s that life is usually drunk and taking speed so that it can stay up and drink more.”

(As usual, Grant is understating things. More accurately, it would be “‘life is usually drunk and snorting coke off of a hooker’s ass'” so it can stay up and drink until annihilation.”)

–from the hands-down best baseball blog on the ‘net, McCovey Chronicles

“I usually stay away from politics on here for obvious reasons. They’re too divisive, and this is supposed to be a place about sports [San Francisco Giants], a safe haven. But I think the one thing we can all agree on is that Donald Trump is a dangerously ignorant man-child, the wriggling embodiment of the seven deadly sins, each of them competing against the other for supremacy at all times.”

–Grant Brisbee, “Donald Ttrump wanted to buy the San Francisco Giants” (on our favorite baseball blog, McCovey Chronicles)

“The [San Francisco] Giants will get better. There will be a two-week stretch that boosts their overall numbers, and they’ll seem normal again. Do not fall for it. All that stretch will do is hose their draft position. They will not be a better team. They will not be closer to a future postseason. They’ll only be ruining their chances to get the next Bryce Harper or Stephen Strasburg or Delmon Young. But it’s going to happen, and I’ll forget about this paragraph and these feelings, and I’ll pretend that it’s good news.”

–Grant Brisbee, “Giants Lose, Royals Win

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The above nearly paragraph-length quotation nicely illustrates why Grant Brisbee is the funniest baseball writer in the biz. He’s also pretty damn insightful, which is almost, but not quite, as important for baseball writers as being funny.

Let’s face it: we’re dealing with baseball, life’s toy department for supposed grown-ups. And in maintaining proper perspective on that national refuge from horrifying reality, humor rules.

When I saw that headline on my favorite baseball blog, McCovey Chronicles, my first thought was, “Pardoned him for what? Being one of the greatest baseball players of his generation?”

It wasn’t until I read the article that I remembered that, yes, “Stretch” had plead guilty to tax evasion in 1995.

As Grant Brisbee notes in his McCovey Chronicles piece, “While paying taxes is probably a good idea, it is the official stance of this site that McCovey is above the law and always will be, so this is a piece of good news.”

That makes both a welcome pardon and a welcome sentence commutation (that of hero whistle blower Chelsea Manning) in one day. For once, along with Brisbee, I can say and mean it, “Thanks Obama.”

(Note regarding the photo: Barack Obama congratulating the Giants on one of their three World Series victories during his terms of office. Obama is the 44th president of the U.S., and Willie McCovey’s number was 44.)


“Giants lose series, dignity”

–Grant Brisbee, McCovey Chronicles

* * *

(also recommended)

“The Giants are wasting your time and you shouldn’t watch them”

–groug, McCovey Chronicles

by Grant Brisbee from McCovey Chronicles

“Spot starters are spot starters because they aren’t as good as the real starters, with some notable exceptions. And that’s doubly true for players like [Albert] Suarez, whom any team could have had this offseason with a guaranteed major league contract at the minimum salary. He could have been just another faceless placeholder, overextended against a major league lineup.

“Instead: competence. Strikes. Missed bats. Limited drama. If Suarez were to sustain his start with the Giants over a couple dozen starts, teams would pay $80 million for him . . .  roughly what they were expecting from Mike Leake last year. What a gift. And if it had completely blown up — four starts where he couldn’t get out of the fourth inning, say — absolutely no one would have been surprised.

“That didn’t happen, and the Giants got some value where they desperately needed it. Remember that before anything else. The Giants were able to win a 5-4 game in extra innings only because Albert Suarez can perform a reasonable impression of a major-league starter.”

(The Giants are on a pace to win over 100 games this year. Yeehaw! Fer all you Brits and other furriners, the Giants won the World (yes, World) Series in 2010, 2012, and 2014. Can y’all say “even year”?)