Posts Tagged ‘Male-Female Relationships’


A week or so ago I wrote to two friends (let’s call them Bob and Kathy, who have been married for 40 years) out in the Tucson Mountains foothills about hosting a star party, where I’d bring my 10″ ‘scope and others would bring their mostly smaller telescopes and whatever they’d want to drink.

They both said they’d be up for it.

Shortly after that, after throwing out my back and before sending out a general announcement, I wrote to them two nights ago around 2:00 am asking if it’d work to put off the star party until the 16th because I was in pain.

The next morning I checked my e-mail and found a message from Bob:

“Sure, no problem, the 16th works fine.”

Then I found an e-mail dated an hour later from Kathy:

“The 16th is our anniversary. We’ve already made plans to go out of town for the weekend.”

Need I say more about male/female differences?


WINE, n. The straight man’s burden — more specifically, pretending that you like it;  2) The ideal beverage. After you’ve run out of beer (tequila, rum, vodka, Jack, gin, etc.).

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–from the revised and expanded edition of The American Heretic’s Dictionary, the best modern successor to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary (Thanks to Abe Acuña for the inspiration and some of the wording for this one.)

 


FINANCIALLY SECURE, 1) As used by women on dating sites: “must be willing to support me in the manner to which I wish to become accustomed”; 2) As used as a self-descriptive term by men on dating sites: A) “desperate enough to support you in the manner in which you wish to become accustomed”; and/or B) “exchanging my soul for the money seemed like a good idea at the time.”

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–from the revised and expanded edition of The American Heretic’s Dictionary, the best modern successor to Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary